LIFE'S SUCKS

I’m just depressed. i have like.. 4 days like that.. i cant more, i just need to be happy again. I need love from my friends, but this days they just left cuz they have a life, and other things to do. and im here waithng for something that idk what it is. I just.. need something new in my life. Idk what to do w me, next year go to college, and idk what to study. idk what to do w my fucking life.
im like lost, really.. my life in this moment just.. dont have sence.. i hate be in love. why? cus he loves someone else :) and he care more for other girl that is fucking perfect.. and i hate her. Yes, i dont hate anybody but.. i hate her.
you know i miss my brother too.. he lives with me but.. he change i don’t know what happen with him, and my other brother is away in this moment.. i miss him too. My mom now is like a zombie, when i talk to her she’s always like.. “okay, yes, is fine” or just “…..”. My father lives away too, i miss him idk, i see my family every day but they are not really here. soo.. i’m alone. yes, i miss my family.
I feel broken when i think about this.. we used to be happy together, but now is like everybody has a life. I feel ignored for my mom, since i was 14 i think.. she acts weird, cold.. I wish could talk w her about everything but everytime i try she’s cold.
I miss christmas full of laughter and fun, with all of them around me. I just… idk i love my family, i really do, but i feel that they’re gone.